These days I find it difficult to write anything. I have some ideas inside me to write, still, something is holding me back. I don’t know what is it. I feel like, over the days I have turned out to be the Mr.Lazy, maybe. When my colleagues asked on it I blamed on lack of time.
Then I sat for writing. Many ideas came to me, but nothing turned out to into words. An urging sensation to spread inks on paper and tap the keys on keyboard made me restless. Still nothing happened. Then slowly, I had this weird realization, that the writer in me is dead.
The writer in me is dead! But how?
I had a check on myself. A comparison on the ‘past me’ and the ‘present me’.
The ‘past me’ had no job and hence had a lot time to read as well as sit idle and dream about so many things.
The ‘present me’ has a job and is almost busy with the works. Also becomes weary by the time I reach home.
The ‘past me’ read a lot books that inspired me to write.
‘Present me’ sleeps whenever I open a book.
‘Past me’ had some friends around me, who encouraged me to write more and more.
But, sadly ‘present me’ has lost those friends as everyone got busy with their routines.
Finally, ‘past me’ had a dream and, always thought of and worked for it.
‘Present me’ too have that dream, but seldom do I think of it or work for it.
Then I started to believe, that I am not a writer anymore. Lost and depressed, I once again looked up to the ‘past me’. He, an ardent fan of Coelho, quoted one of Coelho’s quotes :
” You are what you believe yourself to be.”
He said, ” What you face now is a sort of Writer’s Block. And it comes only to writers. The writer in you is not dead. You’re a writer.”
This has finally made me on. With these new schedules of mine, it is difficult to bring back the ‘past me’ to the ‘present me’. Yet now, I try to unify them, as they have to, for achieving my dreams. No matter how hard the schedules hit me, I am starting to write again. Why? Because I am a writer and I am not ready to give up.
If you too have lost the ‘past you’ who you’ve loved to be or haven’t yet been that ‘you’ you wished to be, then redesign yourself and start believing in yourself, for, we all are what we believe ourselves to be.